Leaving Childhood Habits Behind
Many women enter the workplace with habits that were rewarded in childhood but work against them in adult careers. Being polite, agreeable, modest, and eager to help can make someone pleasant to work with, yet those same traits often cause others to see them as supportive rather than authoritative. Promotions usually go to people who look and sound ready to lead, not just to those who quietly do good work. Capability is not the problem. The problem is sending signals that make competence easy to overlook.
Lois P. Frankel’s coaching experience shows how often talented women weaken their own position without realizing it. They soften their opinions, avoid conflict, wait to be noticed, and treat the workplace like a place where good behavior should naturally be rewarded. That approach may preserve harmony, but it rarely builds power. Career growth depends on acting like a full professional adult who can make decisions, claim credit, and ask directly for what is needed.
Susan, a procurement manager with many years of experience, showed how these habits can shape other people’s perceptions. She had the background for senior roles, but her manner suggested someone junior and eager to please. Her hesitant language, overly soft style, and youthful presentation led colleagues to place her in a lower-status role in their minds. Once she saw how she was being read, she could begin changing the signals she sent.
Changing these patterns often brings discomfort. Other people may react by saying someone has become too aggressive or is no longer as nice as before. That resistance is common because changing behavior also changes relationships. Progress comes from recognizing the old habit, practicing a more effective one, and repeating it until it becomes natural. A career does not change all at once. It changes one behavior at a time.
Full summary available in the Readsome app
