How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

A narrative walkthrough of the book’s core ideas.

Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

11 min read
51s intro

Brief summary

This book offers a practical language toolkit for handling everyday conflicts with children. It shows how to build cooperation and trust by accepting feelings, setting clear limits, and involving children in solutions.

Who it's for

This is for parents who want specific words and phrases to use in moments of conflict with their children.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Audio & text in the Readsome app

A Better Way to Talk With Kids

Many parents want practical help, not theories. They need words they can use in the middle of tears, arguments, messes, and refusals. Adele Faber and her colleague came to see that families were asking for a clear method that could replace old habits like lecturing, blaming, threatening, and arguing.

The approach that emerged is simple and direct. It gives parents a set of tools they can practice one step at a time. Instead of trying to control children through fear or shame, it helps parents build cooperation and self-respect through everyday conversations.

This way of speaking rests on one belief: children are people with their own feelings, wishes, frustrations, and ideas. When adults speak to them with dignity, children are more able to listen, recover, and cooperate. The goal is not a perfect child or a perfectly calm parent, but a family life with less hostility and more trust.

Change does not happen instantly. Parents often hear themselves repeating the same harsh phrases they once heard as children. Progress begins when they notice those habits, stop sooner, and try a different response the next time.

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About the author

Adele Faber

Adele Faber was an American author and an internationally acclaimed expert on communication between adults and children. With a master's degree in education from New York University and years of experience as a teacher, she drew upon her studies with child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott to inform her work. Alongside collaborator Elaine Mazlish, Faber co-authored influential books and developed workshop programs that provided parents and professionals with practical tools to improve relationships with children.

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