Siblings Without Rivalry

How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

8 min read
56s intro

Brief summary

Siblings Without Rivalry shows parents how to reduce conflict by addressing its root causes, like jealousy and competition for parental love. It offers practical ways to help children build respect, solve problems, and form more durable bonds over time.

Who it's for

This is for parents who want to manage daily conflict and help their children build a healthier, more respectful long-term relationship.

Siblings Without Rivalry

Audio & text in the Readsome app

Why Siblings Fight

Many parents imagine that brothers and sisters will naturally become close friends. Then daily life begins, and the reality can be startling. Children insult each other, grab, hit, compete, and seem to turn ordinary moments into battles, which often leaves parents feeling shocked and discouraged.

This conflict is common, and it does not mean a family is failing. Living with siblings means living with constant competition for attention, space, possessions, praise, and a sense of importance. Even children who love each other can still feel driven to outdo, exclude, or defeat one another.

Some conflict can be useful. Children learn how to stand up for themselves, how to negotiate, and how to survive disappointment. But when rivalry becomes intense or constant, it can shape how children see themselves and each other for years.

These early patterns often continue into adulthood. One child may become the bossy one, another the star, another the one who always feels behind. Instead of aiming for perfect harmony, parents can give children something more realistic and more useful: the skills to express feelings, solve problems, and treat each other with respect.

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About the author

Adele Faber

Adele Faber was an American author and an internationally acclaimed expert on communication between adults and children. With a master's degree in education from New York University and years of experience as a teacher, she drew upon her studies with child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott to inform her work. Alongside collaborator Elaine Mazlish, Faber co-authored influential books and developed workshop programs that provided parents and professionals with practical tools to improve relationships with children.

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